Why Did I Start My Advice Column?

 

I saw the photos above on social media and thought this was a great opportunity to share my why. So here it goes.  

I just want people to stop  passing on the myth that If you are “professional” and if you have a nice tone you will be well received. 

This is deceptive for many women of color. I’ve heard many professionals say that they worry about coming off as the angry black woman. 

They worry about being perceived as aggressive. They think someone like me is more received because I am often referred to as “professional”, soft spoken or gentle. But I assure you. The grass is not greener.

I too experience the same thing in different forms. It’s not acceptable but in a world that thrives on oppression and unequal power, the strong qualities within you can often be mocked, belittled and unappreciated. 

It’s much easier to tolerate your silence than your true voice. I wear many scars from the professional realm, - situations I had no idea would be awaiting me, things not taught in school and hard to prepare someone for.  That is part of why I started this column. It’s my voice and perspective. And while not everyone can relate, I share because I enjoy creating content that can help someone else. I understand that not every person can relate as we all have different experiences, however this is my space to turn pain into purpose.  

What I know to be true is that I am who I am. A beautiful black woman. Without psychological safety and respect for who I am, I can’t show up. Not anymore. It’s been so important to make wiser choices. To have grace and patience with others as no one is perfect but to also have boundaries and self respect.   

I used to work in spaces simply because my heart was for the cause. I would put my all into my work without seeing the realty of the world I was immersing in. 

Now as I make decisions on where I go and who I work with , I look for things like, is this a safe place for black women to show up authentically?Are they receptive of change ? Do they have policies and values that  show they treat humans well, not just written but demonstrated. 

And if I choose not to engage in those spaces, I have a choice to work on my own projects where I feel safe. You always have a choice.

I know that my ancestors continue to carry me. 

And together we will accomplish what they set out for me to finish. Keep healing through the process. Life is not fair, and often we must take breaks to heal from the strikes against us but as Maya Angelou said still we rise. 

Coping with Covid 19 and Social Justice in 2020

 One may be wondering, how did we get here? While we have certainly seen some positive changes occur this year, we have all been hit with some aspect of loss and change that has interrupted the way we normally move. As a professional, and especially a professional of color, the current events can sometimes feel all too personal. Here is how I suggest you cope with it, while remaining informed. 

1. Gather the facts, and try not to get caught up in too many opinions. Sticking to what you know to be true can be helpful when keeping your mind focused and at peace amidst these hard times. You may also want to avoid any triggering conversations at work, that could cause discomfort for you unnecessarily. This could include filtering what you consume on social media.

2. Find outlets for any of your frustrations with social justice. This could mean joining coalitions and professional networks that focus on social justice if you are interested in making an impact in that area. This could also look like connecting with other people of color who can relate to normalize these feelings. There are plenty of workshops available to support this, and you can even start your own. Don't hold it inside, you are not alone.

3. Prioritize your health and wellness, not only by following the guidelines outlined for Covid-19, but also be sure to find ways to take care of yourself. Be mindful of what you feeding your mind, body and soul on a daily basis. Invest in fitness apps, a gym, meditation, meal planning, etc. to make sure that you have what you need to stay safe and well.

4.  Prepare. Ensure that you are preparing for crisis. This can be hard because we do not know what to expect, however we do know that crisis requires adaptability and flexibility. Are you prepared to navigate the digital world?  How is your financial health? Are there new skills you can obtain or skills that you can sharpen? Are there other interests you may have in starting your own projects? It is never a bad idea to invest in yourself. 

5. Do things you enjoy. It is so important to continue doing things you like to do in a safe way. Don't give up your hobbies or favorite things. As professionals, the work load is always there, it is nice to take a break and remind yourself to simply enjoy life. We all deserve it.

Hope this helps!

Sincerely,

Victoria