Why Did I Start My Advice Column?

 

I saw the photos above on social media and thought this was a great opportunity to share my why. So here it goes.  

I just want people to stop  passing on the myth that If you are “professional” and if you have a nice tone you will be well received. 

This is deceptive for many women of color. I’ve heard many professionals say that they worry about coming off as the angry black woman. 

They worry about being perceived as aggressive. They think someone like me is more received because I am often referred to as “professional”, soft spoken or gentle. But I assure you. The grass is not greener.

I too experience the same thing in different forms. It’s not acceptable but in a world that thrives on oppression and unequal power, the strong qualities within you can often be mocked, belittled and unappreciated. 

It’s much easier to tolerate your silence than your true voice. I wear many scars from the professional realm, - situations I had no idea would be awaiting me, things not taught in school and hard to prepare someone for.  That is part of why I started this column. It’s my voice and perspective. And while not everyone can relate, I share because I enjoy creating content that can help someone else. I understand that not every person can relate as we all have different experiences, however this is my space to turn pain into purpose.  

What I know to be true is that I am who I am. A beautiful black woman. Without psychological safety and respect for who I am, I can’t show up. Not anymore. It’s been so important to make wiser choices. To have grace and patience with others as no one is perfect but to also have boundaries and self respect.   

I used to work in spaces simply because my heart was for the cause. I would put my all into my work without seeing the realty of the world I was immersing in. 

Now as I make decisions on where I go and who I work with , I look for things like, is this a safe place for black women to show up authentically?Are they receptive of change ? Do they have policies and values that  show they treat humans well, not just written but demonstrated. 

And if I choose not to engage in those spaces, I have a choice to work on my own projects where I feel safe. You always have a choice.

I know that my ancestors continue to carry me. 

And together we will accomplish what they set out for me to finish. Keep healing through the process. Life is not fair, and often we must take breaks to heal from the strikes against us but as Maya Angelou said still we rise.