Why Did I Start My Advice Column?

 

I saw the photos above on social media and thought this was a great opportunity to share my why. So here it goes.  

I just want people to stop  passing on the myth that If you are “professional” and if you have a nice tone you will be well received. 

This is deceptive for many women of color. I’ve heard many professionals say that they worry about coming off as the angry black woman. 

They worry about being perceived as aggressive. They think someone like me is more received because I am often referred to as “professional”, soft spoken or gentle. But I assure you. The grass is not greener.

I too experience the same thing in different forms. It’s not acceptable but in a world that thrives on oppression and unequal power, the strong qualities within you can often be mocked, belittled and unappreciated. 

It’s much easier to tolerate your silence than your true voice. I wear many scars from the professional realm, - situations I had no idea would be awaiting me, things not taught in school and hard to prepare someone for.  That is part of why I started this column. It’s my voice and perspective. And while not everyone can relate, I share because I enjoy creating content that can help someone else. I understand that not every person can relate as we all have different experiences, however this is my space to turn pain into purpose.  

What I know to be true is that I am who I am. A beautiful black woman. Without psychological safety and respect for who I am, I can’t show up. Not anymore. It’s been so important to make wiser choices. To have grace and patience with others as no one is perfect but to also have boundaries and self respect.   

I used to work in spaces simply because my heart was for the cause. I would put my all into my work without seeing the realty of the world I was immersing in. 

Now as I make decisions on where I go and who I work with , I look for things like, is this a safe place for black women to show up authentically?Are they receptive of change ? Do they have policies and values that  show they treat humans well, not just written but demonstrated. 

And if I choose not to engage in those spaces, I have a choice to work on my own projects where I feel safe. You always have a choice.

I know that my ancestors continue to carry me. 

And together we will accomplish what they set out for me to finish. Keep healing through the process. Life is not fair, and often we must take breaks to heal from the strikes against us but as Maya Angelou said still we rise. 

Coping with Covid 19 and Social Justice in 2020

 One may be wondering, how did we get here? While we have certainly seen some positive changes occur this year, we have all been hit with some aspect of loss and change that has interrupted the way we normally move. As a professional, and especially a professional of color, the current events can sometimes feel all too personal. Here is how I suggest you cope with it, while remaining informed. 

1. Gather the facts, and try not to get caught up in too many opinions. Sticking to what you know to be true can be helpful when keeping your mind focused and at peace amidst these hard times. You may also want to avoid any triggering conversations at work, that could cause discomfort for you unnecessarily. This could include filtering what you consume on social media.

2. Find outlets for any of your frustrations with social justice. This could mean joining coalitions and professional networks that focus on social justice if you are interested in making an impact in that area. This could also look like connecting with other people of color who can relate to normalize these feelings. There are plenty of workshops available to support this, and you can even start your own. Don't hold it inside, you are not alone.

3. Prioritize your health and wellness, not only by following the guidelines outlined for Covid-19, but also be sure to find ways to take care of yourself. Be mindful of what you feeding your mind, body and soul on a daily basis. Invest in fitness apps, a gym, meditation, meal planning, etc. to make sure that you have what you need to stay safe and well.

4.  Prepare. Ensure that you are preparing for crisis. This can be hard because we do not know what to expect, however we do know that crisis requires adaptability and flexibility. Are you prepared to navigate the digital world?  How is your financial health? Are there new skills you can obtain or skills that you can sharpen? Are there other interests you may have in starting your own projects? It is never a bad idea to invest in yourself. 

5. Do things you enjoy. It is so important to continue doing things you like to do in a safe way. Don't give up your hobbies or favorite things. As professionals, the work load is always there, it is nice to take a break and remind yourself to simply enjoy life. We all deserve it.

Hope this helps!

Sincerely,

Victoria 

 

Train Yourself

It is very important to train yourself. When you are new in your career or taking on a role, it would be nice to have training, but the reality is you may not always get it. It is very wise to study your role, gain mentors and remember that its not just about remembering what you studied but how to apply it to the real world. There will be situations you encounter that school can not prepare you for. Just know that you can and will pass each test with the right attitude, and when you stumble remember to fail forward. Here are a few tips on how to train yourself.

1. Remember to write down anything you learn in orientation, from other employees, supervisors and other resources on the job. You can choose to take notes electronically or keep a notepad, folder and/or binder with key notes.

2. Find free online courses, webinars and books to develop your skills. Take initiative to improve in areas you need to develop.

3. Remember its okay to learn as you go. You may not know it all, and that's okay. Some roles take years to grow into. As long as you are making progress, you are doing okay!

4. Be sure to ask for the support you need. Not everyone has the time, skill or interest to provide you with the support you are seeking. Extend gratitude for what is provided, and stand on your own two feet. Do your best, and only worry about whatever is not in your control. 

5. As you train yourself, add the skill to your resume. Keep building up your professional portfolio. You may even be able to pay it forward to help someone else in the future. Take everything as a learning experience, and be sure to ask about training during your next interview if needed to perform your job.

6. Connect with other professionals. Ask clear and concise questions. But always remember your journey will be your own. Join a professional organization with adequate representation to normalize your experiences and know that you are not alone. 

Sink or Swim

Hi everyone! Hopefully you won't find yourself in this situation but here is some advice on how to detect and/or survive a sink or swim situation. Whether you are an entry level employee, college graduate or looking to get back into the workforce, I think this advice can be helpful for anyone who may be vulnerable.

Warning signs:

1. The interview is very informal and brief. The interviewer gives you very little room to dive deeper by doing most of the talking. By the time they finish speaking you don't have much time to question them.

2. The interviewer makes promises about what could happen once you get hired, e.g. you could get promoted. Never take someone else's word for it. Ask more about the process and what is required for promotion.

3. The interviewer talks about the success of other employees who had the role before you or who have been with the company for a while. The idea that if they can do it, so can you is not something you should feed into because there is no guarantee. Different variables impact someone's success. 

4. The interviewer talks like its too good to be true. e.g. It's a very easy job or the clientele is so easy to work with. Make sure you continue to ask questions and maybe consider shadowing to determine for yourself what the role is. 

5. You won't have coworkers or support staff. This could be a sign that you will need to figure things out on your own. Ask if this is a role that provides training or if you need to have already acquired the training and experience to do the job.

6. There is a high turn over rate and no solution. This is especially a red flag for people of color when the majority of turnover is with minority staff. 

Tip: Do your own research before accepting the job offer. This could include online research, person to person research and asking additional questions once the interview concludes.

If you are already in a sink or swim role here is some advice.

1. Don't beat yourself up. Do your best and strive to learn from the experience. Set a few goals of what you can learn from the situation before moving on. Remember this is only temporary and with a proper plan you can and will move on to better!

2. Choose your battles wisely. Some companies are a good place to voice your concerns because they actually care about the employees. Others are not. Be wise about how you spend your energy. Do you want to spend time changing their systems or making your own life better? Sometimes you have to choose.

3. Find the bright side. Most likely you have gained new skills and developed your character by persevering in this situation. Stay focused and list the positive things about your experience. 

4. Always do your best! You are your own brand. Remember that. Never ruin your own reputation by giving your power over to others. Invest in yourself when no one else win!

5. Change your expectations. I know we expect others to treat us the way we want to be treated but that is not always reality! And you know what you will survive without it. Truly lean on your own support system. You should always speak up for yourself but never expect people to make your day! You are the key to your happiness. 

6. Don't repeat your mistakes. It is better to wait for the right opportunity than to move hastily. Just know that you are worth it and you should never settle for less!

How To Handle Change

I know that change can be scary. If you are a person who likes routine and predictability, this can be especially challenging. I want to let you know, especially during this pandemic we are living in, that change is going to produce beautiful qualities in you such as flexibility and adaptability. When you learn to let go of the outcome and take the pressure off of yourself to succeed, something wonderful will happen. I know that seems like the opposite of what you should do, but that is the point. Strive to live on the other side of your fear. Here is how we can apply this with your career.

1. Lack of structure in your job and constantly changing work flow: This is an opportunity to create your own system. It's a skill. Once you develop this skill, you can add it to your resume. Think of it as creating your own path. You can adapt to the constant changes by having fun with it. Relax and think of it as a chance to grow your social skills through networking which will only help you.

2. Company changes your position: When a company changes your position, it could be a new opportunity for growth. We often get comfortable and are not aware of our capabilities. It could challenge you to stretch your skills, learn new things and even become a leader.

3. A layoff: This can be a chance for you to think about your plan. While it is nice to have the security of a job within a company, it is always your job to treat yourself as a business. As a business, you should always be aware of risks and opportunities. Take this time to invest in yourself. Ask yourself, what would you be doing if there was no company to work for?

4. Change in leadership/staff: You may have liked your leadership or you may not have liked your leadership. Unfortunately only a few people have control over who gets to be in charge. The best thing you can do is build your own relationship skills by learning what it takes to be a good leader. Try to see the best in others, and when you don't use those negative experiences to become the change you want to see.

5. Change in original duties: This one is tricky. Be sure to know your companies rules and policies. Know when you can negotiate and when you have to deal. Having frequent conversations with the person in charge of your role is helpful. If you need more training and support ask. Always invest in yourself. Be confident that you can handle any challenge because you are more than enough.

Surviving College

Surviving college takes determination, support and certainly a sense of humor :) Here are a few tips on how to get through it!

1. Have fun. Whether you are an undergraduate student or graduate student, college can be so exciting! Take advantage of the opportunities to meet new people, have a good time (responsible fun lol) and try new things. After all, we do learn through socializing!

2. Network. It is so important to not just have your head in the books but to look up every now and then to connect with students who you share interests with, professors who can help you with your path, and employers who will be the gateway to your next opportunity. Connect with tutors, counselors and advisors to make sure you have all you need to be successful.

3. Take it seriously. I know it can be hard when you are bombarded with so much at once but if you stay organized and focused you can handle it. There are consequences for failing. College is a huge commitment of time and money. Be sure to work smart, and don't get caught up in the wrong crowd. Surround yourself with others who have the intention of graduating.

4. Have a goal. Make sure you major in something that will get you results. See an advisor, take assessments, know your skills and your desired job outcome. This will shape which program you pursue and put you on the best path. Don't make every decision alone, seek counsel and do your research.

5. Practice self care. Know when you need to take a break. It is okay to take time for you. As you refresh, you will have more energy to keep going strong.

Choosing a Good Fit: Top 5 Tips

Choosing the right fit can be challenging, but with a little more preparation, you can find a good fit for you. Check out my top five tips on how to do it!

1. Do your research: Learn as much as you can about the company, their values, your job duties and what is expected of you.

2. Know yourself: Complete self assessments, list your passions, work values, goals, and  learn which industry is a best fit for you and keep dreaming! Know that in reality, you may not be able to get what you want right away, but start off with defining needs versus wants. There are many ways to work your passions into your work.

3. Ask the right questions: Don't just ask questions about the information provided to you, but ask questions about what is not provided. This could be questions related to the work environment, the supervisor's management style, challenges on the job, etc.

4. Talk to people who know you well: Be sure to stay connected with people who know you well, and can provide needed support when making tough decisions.

5. Be sure to make decisions when you are even keeled. Be sure to not make decisions just because there is a bump in the road. You are more likely to find a better fit when you are not in a desperate place and are willing to stick out your current role until the better opportunity arrives.

Hope this helps!!

All the best,

Victoria

Affirmations for Professional Success

Affirmations are a great way to stay encouraged. Ever wonder why it is hard to stay motivated and easy to give up? Motivation and perseverance is a practice. Things will get harder and you can absolutely manage this. Here are a few affirmations to help you stay encouraged!

As I take on new challenges I feel calm, confident, and powerful

I am grateful that my life is so happy and successful

I have everything I need to face any obstacles that come

I can never fail, for everything that happens contributes to me being better

I can let go of old, negative beliefs that have stood in the way of my success

I have the knowledge to make smart decisions for myself

Amazing opportunities are appearing in my life out of no where

I am creating the career of my dreams

I earn good money doing what satisfies me


You will be surprised at how meditating on positive statements can help you move forward towards greater peace and prosperity. Take time each day to focus on uplifting your spirit. You will move will greater ease towards your goals. Change your mindset, change your direction. 

Is College Worth It?

The question many students ask is do I really need college to be successful? What are my options? Here are a few tips to finding out if college will be worth it for you.

1. Do your research. One of the most important things you can do is research your career options. Don't just research how much the job pays, but take a close look at the steps needed to reach that goal. Websites like the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics can give you detailed information on various careers including how much education is required.

2. College is an investment and in some cases you can get a return on that investment. Ask yourself if you are willing to make an investment in your future? Do you think the investment will be worth it? For some career choices that require a college education, it may be.  In some cases, it is not. Define your short and long term goals. Does college make sense for your desired career goal? What are the facts?

3. Take advantage of opportunities to ask questions. Don't just wait for your college or high school counselor to give you information. Make an effort to ask professionals and college students in your life for advice.

4. Are you a good student? A good student can be developed with the right attitude. If you want to do well in college, you must be willing to develop the skills to do so. If you are not sure, start off by taking a course at your local community college, and/or consider speaking with an advisor to determine if a trade would be better for you.

5. Learn about finances. Do your best to find out as much as you can about financial aid, scholarships, grants, student loan forgiveness, etc. Develop a budget and savings plan as early as you can. Talking to someone who specializes in this will prove to be beneficial.

6. What do you think? At the end of the day, you are the only one who can make the decision to further your education and you are the only one who can decide if it is worth it or not. There is negative information out there and there is a positive information. You must take a balanced look at what will work best for your life and your goals. Dream big and don't let the fear of the unknown hold you back.

Overcoming Adversity During A Job Search

There comes a time, often more than once, when we must overcome adversity. While it is not something we look forward to, it can often make us stronger. Here are a few tips to overcome adversity during a job search.

1. Always have a good strategy: When you are looking for something, don't look blindly, and don't look desperately. Have clear goals and expectations. Go in thinking positive. Remember your worth and know your plan.

2. Be Grateful: There will be times when you really want something. You think that when you don't get it, you have missed out. Often times, there is something better for you. You have not missed out. Just know that when you put your best foot forward and you are qualified, it's not a loss, it's a win. You get to dream bigger.

3. Stay Persistent: Keep your eyes and ears open. When it get's tempting to settle, just know that you are one step closer to the right move. Don't give up too close to the finish line.

4. Remember your worth: Don't allow rejection to make you feel less worthy. You get to evaluate your weaknesses and improve but you don't get to forget who you are: strong and courageous.

5. Be confident: Always be yourself. Know that at the end of the day, who you are wins. You want to be in a position that is true to who you are, what you want to do, with people you want to do it with. Be relentless in what sets your soul on fire.

Networking Tips

Do you struggle with networking? Do you find it hard to come out of your shell? Here are a few tips for networking to help you out.

1. Start small. Are there people you know from school, friends, family, teachers, co workers that have similar interests? You may notice in daily conversation that there are people all around you, who you are already talking to on a daily basis. Start networking with intention, and don't overlook small opportunities to learn about what other's do and share what you do. Asking one question can go a long way.

2. Utilize LinkedIn. LinkedIn is a great tool for networking. You can use it to find professionals to connect with in order to reach your goal. There are many helpful people to connect with including current and former coworkers.

3. Join a professional organization. Be sure to join organizations supporting your career field. These networks are very helpful to obtain information and connect with professionals outside of your city.

4. Attend workshops for professionals. Here you may introduce yourself to professionals who expect to meet you. This can ease the discomfort. Come prepared with what you'd like to say and gain from the event. Exchange business cards.

5. Build relationships with your team. Be sure to take advantage of opportunities to work on a team project and attend group outings with your team. You can meet some really great people that way! Saying yes to the invitation can change your life for the better.

What You Want Vs. What Others Want

One of the most empowering choices you will make is the choice to do what you want to do. Many young professionals may struggle with making decisions to please family, friends, coworkers and other's invested in their life. You should always accept wise counsel but also listen to your own voice. Here are a few tips to learning how to do just that.

1. What makes you happy? It is important to ask yourself what do I want? At the end of the day, it is your life and you are responsible for your own happiness. If you live your life for others, you are more likely to feel dissatisfied with your choices.

2. Think about what is best for your future. In the long run, what are you hoping for. Set your heart's intention on making choices that will give you what you want now but ultimately lead to a brighter future.

3. Remember your why. Everyone has a story. Your story is unique. You are not living for anyone else. No one can live through you. You get to use your own experiences to create the life you want to live. Make it meaningful.

4. Be determined. You may not get to your goal over night and it may be hard but don't let the challenges or opinions of others cause you to doubt yourself. If anyone should believe in your ideas, vision and mission when things get rough, it should be you! Stay motivated by doing things that make you feel encouraged. You can do it!

Tips for Remote Workers

Working in a community based role or a remote role means you have more flexibility and independence than in an office based job.While many people desire these types of roles, they can be challenging if you are not focused. If you develop the appropriate attributes, you can be successful in this role. Here are my top tips for making it work for you.

1. Develop a routine and schedule. Some roles will keep you busy with the demands of clients. Other roles may be slow to gain tasks. Either way, you want to make sure you plan out your day so that you are busy. This can include doing research, participating in training's, building rapport with contacts, marketing your program or service, following up with client's, and completing paperwork. Set your hours and keep track of your time.

2. Get up and get moving. While some people like working from home and can be very productive at home, I do encourage individuals to work from home only as needed such as when you are not feeling well. Going to a library, coffee shop, the organization you work with, vising colleagues, etc. is always a great idea. Again, you want to maintain a professional outlook on your role, which means getting up and getting out the house in your professional attire just like you would for an office job.

3. Connect with professionals who have similar roles. Seek out tips and support. Suggest meeting up to do work together. When you are not in the office with your coworkers all of the time, you can sometimes get lonely and isolated. Make sure that you prioritize connecting with others face to face, through Skype, and even a simple phone call. Just being in a setting where there are other people can help boost your morale.

4. Know your deadlines and expectations. Flexibility can cause professionals to get comfortable. Don't get too comfortable. In most cases, there is always a productivity expectation to be met as outlined by your company or contract. Make sure you keep track of your work, stay organized, and keep working everyday so that your work speaks for itself.

5. Avoid overspending. Working out of your car, or in the community can sometimes cause you to spend more because you are surrounded by opportunities to eat out more frequently, you may drive more, as well as purchase more when out meeting with clients at coffee shops. Make sure you try to pack your lunch and shop accordingly for healthy foods you can eat that are easy to prepare for your lifestyle. If you are on a budget, make sure you stick to it.

Tips for the Underemployed

To be underemployed means to not have enough paid work or to not be doing work that makes full use of your skills and abilities. Many professionals and college graduates can relate to this. If you are underemployed, don't fret. I know it can hard having to work more than one job to make ends meet or to be in a role where you are not using your talents. Here are a few tips to help you get through it.

1. Have a positive perspective: Being underemployed can in some cases feel like driving a car that you don't quite love. It isn't in the best condition, doesn't have all the perks you prefer but it is still working enough to get you from one place to another. You may not have your ideal position yet, just like you may not have that dream car, but it is important to be grateful that you have one.

2. Develop S.M.A.R.T. goals. Do you know what you need to do? Do you have a deadline for getting it done? Light the fire and work on your life like never before. Developing specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time based goals can help you get to your goal much faster than a general statement of I don't like where I am right now. Spend more time taking action, then complaining. If it is a serious goal of yours ensure that each day you take out dedicated time to work on your goal.

3. Get connected. Consider taking advantage of free resources in your community such as resume workshops, career coaches, events for job seekers, and classes at your local library. Talk to people who have been in your shoes but have since advanced. Ensure that you develop a sense of community.

4. Don't be impulsive. It may be tempting to leave where you are now but make sure that you leave a position for something better, rather than leaping into the same situation. Evaluate the circumstance, seek good advice and measure your options.

5. Get the experience. Look at job postings for the career you want. Determine if you have the skills already or if there are things you need to develop in. In your current role, look for opportunities to develop these skills. You want to maximize your time and see opportunities even in situations you don't always like.

Self Care and Work

We have all heard the term work-life balance but is there truly a balance? While we are prioritizing multiple tasks simultaneously, it is only natural that we disproportionately spend our time. I want to give you tips on how to practice self care while building a career.

1. Have the right perspective: Life is about more than work and work alone does not bring us true happiness. It is very important to recognize that work is a way in which we provide for ourselves and our families. Once we have grown into ourselves and identified our joys in life, it can also bring enjoyment. It is not meant to be our all. Therefore, even when we enjoy our work, we must stop and reflect on what truly matters.

2. Prioritize non work related activities. Make an effort to spend time with people you love, participate in hobbies, traveling, and events that you enjoy.

3. Take personal and sick days. This can be especially hard to do when you feel the need to prove yourself. You can still be a reliable employee by taking care of yourself. In fact, you are even more likely to be reliable when you have the energy to do so. Things can be rescheduled, deadlines can be extended, tasks can be delegated. All you have to do is ask.

4. Keep looking for your passion. Sometimes, we don't have time to slow down and identify what we like to do. If you don't like your job, while you are working try volunteering, take a career assessment to learn about more careers, and explore starting your own business.

5. Use your benefits. If you have benefits, use them. Make sure you are well informed of the benefits your company offers and use them all. You deserve to take care of your health.